I have to admit that I feel responsible for what happened.
I don't mean that in the literal sense, that I'm the one who pulled the trigger. What I mean is that I embarked on a course of action that created the environment in which the unfortunate incident occurred.
I didn't intend for it to happen. There was no way I could have foreseen it. But that doesn't make it any easier for me to sleep at night.
I should mention that my attorney has strongly advised me not to make this (or any) statement. But when the Director personally asks you to make a report, it's hard to say no. And no matter what my attorney says and although, as I said, I do feel morally responsible my training leads me to believe that that I'm not legally responsible, so I don't see the downside of committing my account of the situation to writing.
A cynic might add that, because this statement is certain to be marked "classified," its existence is unlikely to ever be known outside the Bureau without being so heavily redacted as to be unintelligible, so I'm not really doing anything that's likely to increase my legal jeopardy. But I know what's in my heart, and I'm sure of my motives, and I don't especially care what anyone else thinks, either inside the Bureau or without.
[ Selected Writings ]
©2013 Henry Charles Mishkoff